Apple’s doomed: The Macalope’s work is never done

imageMy favorite read on the interwebs is the weekly rant of Macworld’s Macalope. This mythical creature with a Mac for a head that has antlers growing out of it is the snarkiest “person” writing today. He has the never-ending task of taking on the journalists and analysts of the world who always find doom and gloom in Apple’s record-breaking performances in mobile.

A typical scenario is this: Apple sells a bazillion iPhones, and a top analyst (or a dozen) immediately says Apple is ready for a fall because Wall Street predicted a bazillion point one iPhones would be sold. As the Macalope says in a recent column, “Apple didn’t “miss” anything. Analysts missed.”

While the Macalope’s snarky style might lessen his (I’m assuming he although the identity is not known) impact, the columns always have logic behind them. As he frequently writes, it’s as if the entire tech world is waiting for Apple to fail while rubbing hands together in glee.

Let’s face facts. Apple owns the smartphone space with just the iPhone. That’s beyond question with the recent report that the company accounts for 92 percent of the profits of the entire smartphone industry. That’s the only metric that matters. That’s game over, folks.

Analysts are jumping all over reduced iPad sales, but the fact is that’s industry wide. Eventually markets settle on the size they should be and that’s happening in the tablet space.

In the PC world Apple is a small fry with only six percent of sales last year. Even so, it accounted for over half of the industry’s profits. Again, the only metric that matters.

Then there’s the new category of the Apple Watch. Apple’s not sharing sales numbers but that hasn’t stopped analysts from declaring concerns. We can’t be certain how well the watch has been so far for Apple but we do know that Apple has already captured 75 percent of the smartwatch market. In just a few months.

It’s easy to see why the Macalope’s work is never done. It’s job security for him in a way. No matter what Apple does it’s not good enough and the massive fall is near. If it’s said enough — especially on the interwebs —  it must be true.

To make things clear, I’m not defending the Macalope out of loyalty. I have a love/ hate relationship with him as he’s come after me twice in the past. The last time he dedicated an entire weekly article to tear me down. It’s all in great fun as far as I’m concerned.

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